Interpersonal Communication skills

Developing interpersonal communication skills is vitally important in today’s workplace. Even though you are an individual contributor in the workplace, you still need to communicate effectively with your boss as well as customers. Almost all kinds of work require communicating wit your Most people have colleagues with whom they need to communicate in order to be successful at their job.

 

When we communicate, we don't actually swap ideas, we swap symbols that stand for ideas. Words are just symbols that do not have inherent meaning; we simply use them in certain ways to convey an idea or give it a meaning, and no two people use the same word in the same sense at all instances.

The symbols attached to these words are a function of who we are, our social upbringing and culture, which will pretty much vary quite widely in today's work environment.
 

Our personal communication skills would be largely dependant on our cultural background and unique histories. As a result, there is a real possibility that when two of us get together there are chances that we are less effective at communicating with each other than we would like.

 Some Facts on Interpersonal communication:

 Interpersonal communication is inescapable

We cannot 'not communicate'. The very attempt not to communicate communicates something. When we are not communicating .i.e. when we are silent towards the other person, we are communicating silence. Silence has many meaning depending on the circumstances and cultures. In one Culture, it might be a polite thing to have a long pause before answering a question while in another culture it may be considered a dumb thing or lack of intelligence.
 

Communication is not just spoken words.

Remember the time you were caught coming home late? Remember the look on your Mom’s face? She may not have said anything verbally but we still got the message quite clearly “Grounded”.

Any communication for that matter is based not just on words but also on body language, tonality, situation etc. Using these techniques, we constantly communicate with others. Even when you sleep, you communicate. Remember the basic principle of communication : people are not mind readers. Another way to put this is: people judge you by your behavior, not your intent.

Inter Personal communication is irreversible

"Once a word goes out of your mouth, you can never swallow it again." - A Russian proverb

You can't really take back something once it has been said. The effect must inevitably remain. Despite the instructions from a judge to a jury to "disregard that last statement the witness made," the lawyer knows that it can't help but make an impression on the jury.

Some of the famous Murphy Laws on communication go this way:
 

If communication can fail, it will.

If a message can be understood in different ways, it will be understood in the way which does the most harm.
 

There is always somebody who knows better than you what you meant by your message.
The more communication there is, the more difficult it is for communication to succeed.
These tongue-in-cheek maxims are not real principles; they simply humorously remind us of the difficulty of accurate communication.
 

Intra personal communication is contextual

In other words, communication does not happen in isolation. There is:

a. A Mental context, which is who you are and what you bring to the interaction. Your needs, desires, values, personality, etc., all form the psychological context. ("You" here refers to both participants in the interaction.)

b. A Relational context, which concerns your relations to the other person--the "mix."
 

c. Social context deals with the psycho-social "where" you are communicating. An interaction that takes place in a classroom will be very different from one that takes place in a bar.
 

d. Physical/Environmental context deals with the physical "where" you are communicating. Furniture, location, noise level, temperature, season, time of day, all are examples of factors in the environmental context.
e. Cultural context includes all the learned behaviors and rules that affect the interaction. If you come from a culture (foreign or within your own country) where it is considered rude to make long, direct eye contact, you will avoid eye contact out of politeness. If the other person comes from a culture where long, direct eye contact signals trustworthiness, then we have a basis for misunderstanding.
 

By increasing your repertoire of interpersonal communication skills, you can increase your overall effectiveness and perhaps your job satisfaction.

This is typical example of a Communication skill test which evaluates the status of your present Interpersonal Communications.

By looking at the answers A and C, you can deduce a few self evident realities.

A represents a conservative culture where it might be customary to let the other person speak first, as a matter of respect.
 

C May not be an appropriate especially if the other person is a tight lipped Brit J
This is one of the main reasons why everyone should move beyond the movie stereotypes and actively engage in developing their interpersonal communication skills.

How do I know if I need to improve my interpersonal skills?

The answer is quite simple. Everyone can do a better job at communicating with others. No one is perfect and that’s a relief. Every one of us can benefit from improving our interpersonal skills. We each have certain situations that are more difficult for us and/or have particular communications skills that we would like to improve. You can assess your own interpersonal communications skill level and/or you can ask for feedback from others.
 

Take a shot at our Interpersonal communication skills test to understand where your interpersonal communication stands as of now. It is one of the easiest way t recognize areas o improvement. A word of caution though. Do not take the results of the test too seriously because it is not standardized to all cultures and also because human beings are capable of massive changes.

How can you actually improve my interpersonal communication skills?

All learning starts with awareness. Once you become aware of how you communicate, you can identify the pain areas. Let’s start with a list of good and bad situations and mix it up in a jar. Slowly take them apart one by one and identify situations where you feel you could have done better.

Once you identify the situation, try and recognize the specific behavior patterns which are causing the undesirable effect. Consciously replace such behavior pattern with a new strategy - a set of words or actions. Take a note of how it changes the response you get and run it through the TOTE model until you see the change you desire.
 

 The Communication Test can help you in identifying your interpersonal communication skills. This is a common questionnaire and should not be treated s prescriptive. It cannot replace medical or Psychiatric counsel. Use it with Common sense.

 Identify your goal. Identify explicit opportunities to practice and ask a trusted colleague to give you feedback. Don't forget: Interpersonal skills development is a life-long challenge. Pick something specific to learn, practice, expect some awkward moments, learn from them and celebrate your progress.
 

Anything worthwhile, takes a while

So relax and enjoy the process. Once in a while look back and see how you have changed your interpersonal communications skills and how you have been benefited. Awareness itself can change quite a a few things for you. You will notice in time, that as you change your interpersonal communication skills, your thought processes also changes.

 New doors seem to open and new insights come even more easily and that's exactly what the doctor ordered :-)
 

Remember you know more than you think and you can do more than you thought no matter in what level you are, you can always do better in your interpersonal communication.

What Next?

Get started with the Communication test. It will tell you  exactly where you stand and where to go next.

Once you complete the C-test, remember to check your email and click on the  confirm button to the email with the subject line : 3 Steps to Success is just a Click Away to get a copy of the Special report which will take you to the next step in your journey to success.

Remember to click confirm, else you may miss out on what to do next on your way to success...
 

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