Good Communication Skills: A better approach

When you realize the difference between good communication skills and the "Good for nothing communication skills", it will be easier for you to become a good communicator.

Communication is probably the one skill which made us distinct amongst the animals. Along with our ability to think, it has brought progress in the world. Since we are born with superb inbuilt tools for communication, we often think we are born with good communication skills too.

Wonder why? Just because we have been doing it all our life! But unless you consciously exercise your communication skills, just like exercising your brain, it will not be powerful or effective.

It is true that from childhood you have been given verbal and non verbal inexplicit instructions on how to behave and talk to people. In spite of this, how many of us interrupt while others speak? On the other hand, how many of us can confidently say we are good in handling interruption?

We have been taught to speak to people rather than speak with them

In my experiments during the wandering days, I discovered that not only are these the default values passed on from generation to another; there was no proof that these were the best methods to use.

Most of them can't even be called good communication skills.
For example, while we are talking to others, seldom do we stop and ask ourselves what is it that I am trying to communicate? There is no definite goal for most of our conversations. From the childhood, we are taught that those who can talk faster are usually sharper than others. (Good communication skills?)

Am I suggesting that every time you talk, stop and think of all the words?

Of course not!!!!

Whenever you are expressing a thought to someone, it is a good idea if you have an overall picture of what are you trying to convey?

If you have picture or a sound in mind that you want to convey, it will be much easier to achieve your goal. To start practicing good communication skills, start using this principle today! This is not applicable just for people, every business also should trains it employees on business communication skills so they can be represented in an appropriate manner in the market place.

Remember, it is not just the words that do the job; it's a lot of other things too!!!!

Good Communication Rule:

Every time you communicate, make a point to stop for a few seconds…..and........ reflect on......What you are about to communicate?

I know it is so basic that the first time I saw this one I called it the stupidest law on communication. Now, after having been a successful communicator and having spoken to a few thousand people, I totally agree with this one.

There are a lot of programs which promise instant success in public speaking. If you come across any one of them, Run Away as fast as you can. Public speaking or good communication , in general require practice and guidance. If this is one of your objective's try Instant speak.

Paul Evans, a very successful speaker says that " Successful Public Speaking ( good communication skills, in general) consists of 3 parts

1. Good content... the know how about the subject.
2. Confidence.... Enough courage to stand and speak.
3. Connection.... Ability to convey the message.

Good communication skills that you are learning here are coming out a huge pool of practical experience. You can easily make the most of it by understanding these principles and following them. If you are still in doubt about the importance of communication skills, read on.

The picture was not as rosy always. My teacher used to take me on long walks in unfamiliar cities and make me interact with strangers. I would approach, mutter something and come back. The person whom I spoke with and I would probably forget about the weird incident. I saw no point in this exercise and I could not understand how can this help in developing good communication skills?

After many days of this torture, he asked me if I felt comfortable doing it? I said that I was. Then, he asked me if it was it helpful any other way? I said no.

He gave me a big smile and said “that was because you didn't know what you wanted to say to that person.”

And I went "oh yeah?"

After a second, I was smiling too. He always tried to help me realize these principles than teach them. I think that is the best way to teach good communication skills to others.

You might feel that this page is smaller than the other ones. Any guesses why? (Actually, I am still learning this one. the page started out small, now it is big)

Because the untold rule of communication is to use as less words as possible and still communicate as much as required. I am not even going to emphasize too much on this one because, it is so obvious.
Ok ok let me give you an example. Read on....

The first and foremost thing for anyone to do once he has made up his mind to speak in front of some human beings is to think of what he is going to talk about and as soon as this dawns upon him, words will flow automatically out of his mouth and he can speak, but if this is has not happened he would probably not be able to speak.

The whole paragraph above can be said in one simple sentence

Do not speak until you know what you are going to speak about!

Do you believe me now?

Now that we have gone through two important rules, (I have sneaked one more in-between) let's take a small break and learn about the lazy way to Master good communication.

Once you are through with the principles of good communication skills, learn the starter tricks to improve communication skills. Another area for improvement is active listening .If you find that difficult to do, learn how to develop your listening skills.

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